Talk about life changing

That’s honestly the only way I can describe college; life changing. I’m only on the second day of Orientation, but I’ve been on campus since last Wednesday.  It’s an awful lot to digest. I miss my parents. I miss my siblings. I saw my mom and dad yesterday, but it was not for very long and I was semi-independent and annoyed. I can’t describe how much I miss silence and my own space. I think I’m just one of those people that struggles with sharing. I feel unfashionable. Like whaaaa?!

I don’t really know how to explain myself, I’m at a loss for words. It’s never been a problem. I miss a comfort zone. I don’t miss my home town from before, I just miss knowing what to expect. I’m getting a lot better at knowing the campus though. It’s really pretty, and the guys are too (;

It’s a party scene though, not my thing. Not yet anyways. I have other things to adjust to, why would I throw something like alchohol into the mix? God, I feel like my mom. I wish I had more to say though.. Everything makes me feel more like a parent and less like a college kid. I’m cursed with priorities and knowing my responsibilities. I’m still self centered, but I painted a house for habitat for humanity for crying out loud. It’s frustrating. I’m meeting some really nice people. It’s not all bad. It’s just stressful. One of my books won’t be here till the beginning of september and I start monday. Not good. And everything is so much money.. It’ll all work out I suppose. At 12:30 I have a meeting with my communications major advisor, that’s a bit scary. I really hope I’m in the right major. This is all sooooo confusing. I love fashion, but I just felt unfashionable earlier? How is this possible? I just feel like I second guess everything, cry randomly, and want to shop constantly. I even crave silence. I’m not crazy though, I swear.



PS: My eyebrows look like a chimpanzees. This adds tons of additional stress.

Just because it works out, doesn’t mean it works out how I planned.

I miss my best friendddddddddddd. ❤

Ugh. It’s so tough sometimes. I just want to shop and be with my true friends, it’s like a curse. I can’t have all the money in the world to shop, and all of my fabulous friends live hours away. I think I figured out my college plans though, but as you know if you follow my blog, those change daily.

I am going to HCCC next year. Well.. scratch that statement. I will be enrolled as a student at HCCC but I will be taking all of my courses online, and I will be getting my associates. I will not live in this rinky dink town though, I’ll move with my parents to Buffalo, where I can start over, work real retail (like Chanel or something), get a new car (part of the deal with my parents), and laptop. Oh, and I don’t have to pay room and board or for food obviously, so I can still shop quite a bit.


I have this feeling like I want to cry though.

I want a social lifeeeee.

I want that roommate that makes me pull my hair out because of the banana peel she left on the dresser.. Or the roomate I can share clothes with. But you don’t always get what you want. And $50,000 a year doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed a good roommate. $0 guarantees the worst thing I can get is my sister, and they WILL NOT make me share anyways, if I have any say.

I know this is the most practical decision, even if it’s one I don’t want to make. I know that I can study in London year 3 and then go to SCAD year 4 if I am still in love with it. Or go to FIT. Even Marist or Lasell. All I know is I will have way more options and should qualify for more financial aid since we are doubling the size and cost of our house by moving.

But the pessimist in me says, like hell our house is gonna sell..

It’s been on the market since September and 2 people have looked at it. You are putting your college decisions on hold for THAT? Even if monthly your parents are lowering the price $5,000, nobody in their right mind is going to want to move into this town. I wouldn’t anyways.

I plan on talking to my grandparents this weekend for Easter and seeing if I can guarantee my living in Buffalo -with them- with or without the rest of my family, prior to when the house sells, this summer. I just feel like, I’m screwed, but I have to make the best of it. And someone out there has got it worse than me.

Trust me. Someone out there, most people out there don’t have this beautiful a wardrobe. 🙂

It’ll work out. There’s no other option, but it working out.

The tough thing is, just because it works out, doesn’t mean it works out how I planned.



My father says he feels bad for the man I’m going to marry.

Hello darling preps ❤
I hope you had a better day than I did! But I was over due for an "eh" day after such a wonderful week last week, so I'm accepting of my ying and yang concept here. Anyways, I wore the cutest dress today. It was covered in red and pink rose buds. Simply adore. I wore my pearls again, but resisted those tempting heels. My feet had to rest. I am tired right now, but unfocused. I want another spring break, I'd love you forever if you'd give me one.
My hair is growing on me (hahahahahahaha play on words, get it?) a little bit. I still am going to call tomorrow to see if they can improve it for the hefty price tag but I like the blonde. It looks a lot better than some of the changed hair colors I've seen lately.. Oh dear. It does look a bit like a box of dye threw up on their head, but I'm not judging.
Going to Boston Friday! I cannot wait to meet people! I'm not sure what to wear.. My parents gave me this whole speech about how the way I dress can be intimidating -which they just need to get over- and that doesn't typically concern me, but you only get first impressions once and I want to look fabulous yet not trying to hard when I go to Lasell. Any suggestions? I have a bunch of new clothes… But if I wear anymore of this cheap jewelry I bought I'm going to blow up into a giant ball of hives. Being allergic to nickel is a curse. I have high taste in metals because I physically can't stand others (or I break out) and I think that transfers into my whole champagne taste beer budget mentality.
Whatever. Maybe I'll marry a rich guy which gold jewelry and Ralph Lauren cufflinks. I could live with that.. My dad told me he feels terrible for the guy I marry one day.


I just think he'll be one damn lucky man.