Back to reality, where 42 degrees is considered a heat wave.


I’m baaaaaaack!  Preps, I just had the most fantastic vacation of my life.  There were some unexpected roadblocks like a thunderstorm and no wifi, but they helped me to appreciate sunny days and internet connection when I had them.  From Monday until Friday I was in paradise.  I got to experience 5 days that were typical of a millionaire/ess at their vacation home outside Panama City.  The ocean views and ritzy boutiques surrounding me took my breath away.  I fell into the life of the rich and famous easily, but there were reminders that I didn’t live there of course.  Knowing I would have to come back was a fact I tried to avoid.  Printing boarding passes and living out of my suitcase made it impossible though.

There were similarities between this trip and my spring break in Savannah, GA last year, but so much has changed.  I was coming from a different place this year, both literally and figuratively.  Even the beaches were different: Savannah was very shelly and rough, with blue water, while Seacrest sand me of sugar with bright green splashing on the shores.  This time I was moving into a family friend’s permanent home for a few days, last time I was with my aunt’s where we rented a townhouse.  It was just incredible to think that Ashley gets to live that care-free lifestyle daily.  I enjoyed both trips, but the difference was leaving this time: I knew I would be back.

I have come to conclusion I now have a goal for the next two years.  I may not know what I am doing tomorrow, but in two years I will live on the gulf of Mexico in Florida.  I will wake up only moments from the beach and like Ashley kept telling me: it will be impossible to feel upset.  “I can’t be angry.” she would say  “I have 4 palm trees in my front yard.”  Do you know how cool that is?  I don’t get that sense of peace from 50 pine trees or a block of cement sky scrapers.  I felt so calm and alive.  I felt like I was supposed to be there, and that’s why it was so hard to leave.

Like my bag of shells, my heart just shattered when it was time to go.

I can’t just pick up my life and go there though.  I am not a millionaire and that would not be my second house.  I have to work so hard to just afford rent there and all I would qualify for right now is a floor level retail position -not enough to live on.  I feel like the best chance I have of getting there is paying my dues and going to FIT for 2 years.  I was accepted last week into the Advertising Marketing Communications program there and after talking to my admissions counselor, I was switched into Fashion Merchandising.

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Theres really no reason why I should refuse the offer to go.  FIT is recognized world wide, and the opportunity is incredible.  I can’t blame money, because it’s a state school and I get instate tuition.  I can’t say it’s not good enough, because there isn’t better.  I need to take the risk, and I need to go, because I know how many doors it can open.

I can go to Florida after I am certified, if I feel the same strong pull to be there.  Until then, I’ll visit as frequently as I can and conquer Manhattan.  After all like the Frank Sinatra song New York New York:

If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere.

I’ll grow until then so that Florida is not only ready for me, but I am ready for it.  In 2 years I will be able to sit at a high end restaurant with a glass of wine both legally and affordably.  I will have lived on my own and faced the benefits and trade offs.  I will have earned Florida and Florida will have earned me.  I feel like I will be more respected and successful, because I will have more experience.  It seems that this vacation and the people I met helped me to see that if I expect to ever have this for more than 5 days then I need to go to school.

Realizing where I want to be in two years may not seem like a huge deal to some of my readers, but I lost motivation and determination when I couldn’t figure out what I wanted any more.  In just the past year of posts I can see all of these different places I thought I wanted to be or all the routes I was okay with taking.  I stayed pretty much in my comfort zone consistently  because I assumed that’s how I would get the results I desired… but so far I haven’t.  Therefore I think it’s time to take a risk.

Going to Florida this year, would be an easy decision to make.  Saying that I would just enroll in Business Administration at Florida State University -Panama City would be the simple way of getting what I think I want.. but I compromised my major once before when I thought I knew what I wanted and then I had to make one painful decision to turn it all around.  Instead, this time I’m going to get it all and it’s just going to take some time to get there.

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At this point, I believe I will be in my first day of classes at FIT on August 26th.  I will have been stressing out the night before about what to wear, instead of stressing out about what I’m doing with my life.  I will be taking my days one and a time, because instead of just jumping ideas constantly: I now have a goal.

No decision I ever make tends to be easy.  I learned that a while ago.  I really like this one though, even if it scares me shitless.  This decision reinforces why I needed to leave Canisius.  Talking to my admissions counselor at FIT, she told me if I hadn’t left I would be entering the Associate’s Degree program.  By going to FIT, I know I made the right choice.

Until I end up in Manhattan in August, I’ll be sleeping in a bunk bed in my parents house and working at the outlet mall, like I am right now: doing what an 18 year old is supposed to do.  I don’t love the fact that it’s 42 degrees outside and considered a heat wave because this is upstate New York, but I can deal with it for a few more years in order to see shorts in February later on.

I’m still waiting to hear from Coach about the summer internship, but where I end up with for the summer doesn’t really impact where I’ll be in 2 years.  So whatever happens, is supposed to.

Allison

Ps:  Did you know Nina Garcia, Calvin Klein, Michael Kors, and Nannette Lapore went to FIT?

A Bachelors degree is like a Little Black Dress.


Hello preps,

My last post was anger ridden, not typical, but it happened.  I know its controversial and part of me regrets it, but not enough to take down the post.  I’ve decided to call LIM and have them clarify my scholarship package just for shits and giggles.  It can’t hurt anything and I can pick a fight over all the reasons I should get more -as long as I don’t blame gender, sexual orientation, or marital status.  Because honestly, I have no idea why I got such a pathetic scholarship, it’s just easier to give the reason to something I can’t control.  I know my post resembled something like a 2 year old temper tantrum, but I also think it was a well written hissy fit that should be given some credit for being original if nothing else.

Since the LIM debacle Momma, Daddy, and I have been brainstorming.   Quite frankly, I’ve been brainstorming since long before that.. but my parents are at least taking my stressing out about a college decision seriously now that I’m running out of options.  Not having a Bachelor’s Degree is like a huge hole on your job applications I’ve come to realize.

A BA is like a Little Black Dress, you don’t need one… But it’s tradition, and an expectation. Everyone “should” have one.

So since I like dresses, I’m going to college.. something like that.  And the FIT option in Manhattan has bit the dust because I selected Advertising, Marketing, and Communications as my major stupidly: but I don’t really like 2 out of 3 of those classes this semester and FIT doesn’t let you switch.  I am performing phenomenally in those courses.. but I don’t want to compromise my major.

I did that once before remember?

So, theres a new option: Villa Maria.  Villa Maria is a pea-sized Catholic college in Buffalo with inexpensive tuition for a private school and the flexibility of Fashion Merchandising, Creative Writing, and Interior Design majors.  I really like all 3 areas, but the given choice of major is Fashion Merch.  I would look into the other areas for minors or concentrations, if I could accomplish them in 2 years.  Villa Maria is about an hour from my current location, so I’d have to move out (YES!) into these really cute apartments that cost way less than Manhattan, get a job at a way better mall, and  lease a 2013 Pop Fiat.  Doesn’t that sounds awful?  (;

pop

This all being said, the cookie could crumble and the waiting game begins again.  Since I applied last night I still have high school and college transcripts that have to be sent out.  I still have my never satisfied personality to deal with too, so I’m obviously not giving up on finding other options even if this sounds like a 75% good one..

After all I was never a C student.

I’ve been applying to fancy hotel and high end waitress jobs for the summer while I kill time.  The money is good in the touristy area that I live in now and I haven’t heard from Coach (yet, pinkies crossed) so life has to go on.  If I got a job with any of the 246 Craigslist, Indeed, Monster, Twitter posts, I’ve responded to I wouldn’t necessarily give up my part time gig at Coach though because during the summer I will have a lot more time.

And speaking of time, starting monday I have loads of it!  While I’m in Panama City for the break, I will have the option of letting all of my stress go… but my brain functions like this so probably not:

*laying on the beach for 5 minutes*

“Hey, Allison you should go shopping!” –brain

“Okay, brain sounds good… but do you know what you need for shopping?” –Allison

“Money.  Lots of Money.  Hey, Allison did you see that 700 dollar pair of shoes?  They would look great on you.” –brain

“They would, but I probably wouldn’t be able to see my feet because I’d be drowning in so much debt.” –Allison

“I wish you had a real job, so we could have nice things, Allison.” –brain

“I wish you could get me a real job, brain.” –Allison 

And guess what happens?  I spend 4 hours on the internet trying to find a real job that I qualify for.. but those are far and few in between, because those 700 dollar shoes look better apparently with a Little Black Dress/Bachelors Degree.

The horrible thing about that self motivated attitude  is it comes with a side of impatience.  I don’t want to wait for my LBD/BA to come!  I want a real job now.  I’m worse than a 6 year old on Christmas Morning when it comes to having a career.  I’ll have an Associates Degree in May and you have no idea how badly I want somebody to approach and go “Here, Allison we know you’re more than that sheet of paper and we’re willing to take a risk” but I guess that doesn’t normally happen with a 2 year degree.

Unless you like Radiology, like a girl in my aerobics class.  Good for those people.

major

Those are the same people that take aerobics for fun.

But for the rest of us, that like subject matter such as Fashion or Travel (that is actually fun):  I heard Wal Mart is hiring and they’re going to demand a college degree for all employees in 2020 since they’re practically being handed out on street corners now. #kiddingbutnot

Trends and temptations


Yesterday I went shopping to prepare for my trip to Panama City in April.  I splurged on some “Red, Red, Red” lipstick at Clinique as well some powder.  Both items weren’t originally on my list, but just like handbags, make up is so much easier to buy than clothes sometimes.  I bought 2 pairs of shorts and a pair of ankle pants from EXPRESS.  I noticed ankle pants in New York and Company, Banana Republic, JCPenney, The Limited, and LOFT.  They’re apparently going to be HUGE this spring/summer.  They flatter girls with a little more to love in the thigh region, but hit differently in length than capris.  I was confused at first by the trend, but now I love them. The shorts were a flattering 4 inch inseam and although difficult to find in a store with so little fabric, they were worth the search.

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Last year I was OBSESSED with JCrew’s 3-5inch inseam shorts.  I felt like they hit and fit perfectly.  I own at least 10 pairs, maybe 15.  The sad part, as was mentioned last post, is that those shorts don’t fit any longer.  I’m sipping a watered down Tim Hortons smoothie, instead of eating a crescent and I know I just had a “I love my body” post.. but I love those shorts.

And I refuse to go into stores like EXPRESS and LOFT and be the largest size.  I still stand by my comment that society is the issue, but society also makes it really hard for big girls.

And J Crew makes it tough because those shorts don’t have stretch.

So, for Spring Break I will wear the EXPRESS shorts and ankle pants.  I have some Lauren Conrad denim shorts that will also get me through the week, but besides that, I have to try harder to be healthy for the sake of J Crew by summer.

If I am down in Manhattan, ankle pants will be the perfect office appropriate bottom.  I also have all of those dresses I picked up at Charlotte Russe.  Even if it’s 10 pounds, my entire wardrobe would appreciate a little nip tuck.

While I was at the mall, I also was looking for more exercise attire.  I have always loved my Victoria’s Secret yoga pants, but was very disappointed!  The waste band prints look cheesy and tacky, not worth 40 dollars.  I was then further disappointed by my free panty coupon being out of date.  VS and I aren’t on speaking terms right now.

That isn’t necessarily a bad thing though, because my wallet can’t deal with her.  I have done really well saving money, but I signed up for my first credit card a few months back and she has this way of making me think I have more money than I do.  And with rent sky rocketing in the city, I have to save… but Coach just got in a shipment of neon rainbow colored packable totes that would serve as a fantastic carry on bag.

coach

 

I bought the cutest luggage tag at Francesca’s Collections yesterday.  It said “You wouldn’t look good in my clothes.” and has my name and number on the back.  I always do carry on with Delta or Southwest, but I couldn’t resist.

I’m a little worried that with all these tempting purchases in the middle of nowhere, how I am supposed to resist NYC.  I suppose having a 10 x 10 cell -I mean room 🙂 to live in will play a role.  I have no idea how I would even bring all of my clothes with me, but I guess we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

On a random note, 6 weeks until I have my Associate’s!!!

Allison