I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.


I’m laying in bed, on my fifth or sixth episode of Sex and The City, I’ve lost count.  Whenever I type, Carrie Bradshaw’s voice is ringing in my words.  Now that Gossip Girl is over (may she rest in peace) I’ve gone back a decade at least and I am obsessing over Manhattan’s other It girls.  Think back to the days when Blair Waldorf and Serena Van der Woodson would have been walking the halls of some middle school.  Streets away Samantha Jones was doing what she does best -men.  Charlotte York was gracefully floating down Park Ave to her gallery.  Miranda Hobbes was being successful and awkward.  Carrie was writing the perfect thing on that 1999 Mac, confusing women more than ever before.  I conquered The Hills, a more recent throw back, during my January Break as well as Lipstick Jungle, a forgotten short lived urban fashion flick.  I get attached to whatever I can find on Netflix or through the iTunes store and live through it.  These powerful sexy elite women had fun and ambition.  They grabbed life by the balls (-thats for you Samantha) and lived it, meanwhile I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

I sent my mom a text this morning with goals.  It consisted of “losing twenty pounds, find some decent new friends (since all of my old ones must have gotten hit by busses, the only explanation for why they haven’t been in touch), getting a pug, moving out, buying a Coach multi-purpose tote (Random pregnant Bitch bought the last one to use as a diaper bag on Sunday -the nerve), and become Carrie Bradshaw.” She told me some of those would be difficult, and that one was impossible.  

Obviously, I replied saying I knew 20 pounds was pushing it.

I can’t have these women’s lives, but I can covet the delusional perfection that Hollywood planted on my computer screen.  I can drool over Manolo Blahniks and cry over one night stands on their behalf.. because God knows I’m getting neither.  I can avoid reality for the next 75 days with my BVFF (best virtual friends forever).  I saw my first pair of Christian Louboutons on the feet of an adjunct professor at Community College today during my Bowling class today.  The 500 dollar shoes (minimum) looked out of place in the same mile radius as my ugly rubber color blocked bowling shoes.  I wondered if they’d look out of place near or on me regardless though.

I told myself in high school that my first salaried pay check would be dedicated to black glossy red soled pumps.  I still think I’d live on Raman Noodles for a month before letting those babies sit on a shelf, once I had a real career.  I’m not concerned that it won’t happen.

I’m concerned that I can’t even picture what I’ll be doing to expand my shoe collection.

Allison 

Gabbing about GPAs, Grades, and Gossip Girl.


Hello dolls,

I had a little spare time today and decided that I needed to revamp the site.  It felt a little neglected lately with all of the college work taking precedent.  That’s the way it had to be though, and I have an additional reason to think that way:

3.88 is my GPA for my first semester at a private 4 year school.

It paid off.

My rants about trying so hard, and trying soooo much to prove I could do it, they weren’t for nothing.  I made Deans list and although I’ll be completely honest there is a little part of me that’s annoyed it’s not a 4.0, I’m satisfied.

A 3.88 is really something to be proud of. 3 A’s in Finite Mathematics (my best subject?! remember math was the reason I dropped Fashion Merchandising!!?), Disease: Myth & Reality (I thought that Science final was the death of me, and yet I still must have pulled out a 94 after an all nighter to get an A), and Women in American History 1880s to Present.  I got A-‘s in Interpersonal Communication, which should have been an A because it was a 94 and she only counts 96-100 as A unlike every other teacher in the world… and an A- in FYS.  Which I have no explanation for.

BUT.  What this means is I have new motivation for next semester.  I have to either A) Get a 4.0 next semester or B) Pick up a 6th class and maintain a 3.88 again.  2 of the classes I took this past semester were sophomore and junior level, I think I could take on an additional class.

The question is: Will I maintain sanity?

And followed by that question is:

Will my roommate remain sanity?  I have to try not to rant to her as much when I feel like I am going to bubble over.  She would probably appreciate that too.

So, yes I am going back to school next semester.  I had a mental breakdown/momentary mind lapse in my last post.  I have come to the conclusion in between episodes of Gossip Girl and Lipstick Jungle (a lot of mental stimulation I know) that what I strive to be needs a college degree.

My dad keeps saying there are multiple ways to skin a cat, which is true.. but guess what?  I want the least risky most successful skinned cat possible.

That sounds gross. Sorry.

I’m living on wheat thins, oatmeal, and clementines.. my mind is a little fogged.  I slept until 12:30 and didn’t feel a whole lot of motivation to get ready for the day so I am still in my pajamas.  I felt sick -and still do- when I woke up this morning, but once I got into the cyberworld I was much more overwhelmed with ambition.

I stayed up for a while last night on this girl’s blog about going to London College of Fashion last year.  She is now in Las Vegas as a shoe buyer for Zappos and 6pm.com.  I really thought she was inspirational and she blew my blog away easily.  I watched her videos and laughed when she laughed, cried when she cried, and because I would someday like to have the success that she does, I am not providing her URL and losing readers haha :). You’re just gonna have to subscribe and wait around to see how successful I am!

Along with turning over a new leaf on my blog -by decorating it and adding new links- I decided I wanted to change some things about my life beyond cyberspace too.  My mom helped me “permantalize” (my own made up word for permanently organize) my room and clothes that I brought back from school.  I was never able to get settled in at home because I moved into college the day before school started.  My sister and I share the room and slowly I saw Audrey Hepburn posters come down, and puppy posters go up… But since my family is stuck with me for a month that is obviously not going to fly.

I quickly took over at least half of the room and paraded around the room in my heels.  Not gonna lie, my calluses on my heels have softened and I have missed my babies SO MUCH.  Canisius College is not the scene for these stilletos, but neither was Mohawk High School.  I am contemplating bringing back a few pairs with me..

It is always an overwhelmingly good feeling when I retry on clothes and shoes.  I rediscover clothing that has been MIA for some time and make up new outfits in my head.  The nice part about shoes and accessories is that it doesn’t matter how much the infamous Freshman 15 has tried to ruin my life, I can still strut around with them.  And of course they love me back.

Along with these new outfits comes new hair.  Just like back in March when I had this impulsive need to change my life, hair, etc. and ruined it I am going to again.  Well, hopefully not ruin it..

I’m not going Blonde again, don’t worry.  I’ve learned my lesson and hopefully will never have to relearn it.  I am feeling like red instead. Red or just dark brown like I already have, but to get rid of the wisps of dead light brown and blonde that remain from losing the coloring from before.

Nobody in Youngstown knows me though, so until January 13th when I go back to college I have to be completely honest and say I could go bald and it wouldn’t matter all that much.  This is a good and a bad thing, because I miss my friends from school way more than they probably miss me haha and at the same time I can afford as many of these pajama sick days as I want.  It is easy to recover from an overwhelming finals week when you can lie around and prioritize your cyber life more than your actual one.

I’ve gone ice skating, shopping (a lot), and to the grocery store, but that’s about the extent of it.  My 3 year old Owen is great company, but I can only be beat by him at Mario Kart so many times before I go insane.  I have finished the Gossip Girl series and become emotionally invested in similar TV shows that I missed out on due ridiculous amounts of work, but nothing could hurt me as much as the heart break of Dan being GG.  How did you feel about him?  Or the final episode?  I watched it online because in the new house we don’t have CW and I clearly could not watch it with my younger siblings in the living room downstairs.  The quality wasn’t very good, but regardless I think I got the feel for how awful the episode was.  It just was reinforced by the crappy static and blurriness.

I do have one really important question regarding the show: What were the producers thinking eliminating Ed Westwick’s accent during Gossip Girl?

I don’t know how he did it, or more importantly why.. but the first hour of the gossip girl finale was a documentary style flashback thing involving the actors and directors.  Ed Westwick aka Chuck talked and my heart melted more than normal, along with most of the female population in America I’m sure.

WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT CHARM AWAY FROM A MAN?!?

The only thing I can think of is that it would be very difficult for the viewers to hate Chuck when he was terrible in the first few seasons if he had a voice like that (;

Allison

Let’s do this.


I see people in seventeen and teenvogue becoming famous because of their fabulous pictures and style so why can’t I? Let’s do this.  I have style, I even have a  mission statement, so why not? My mission -if you were to lazy to read my about me *cough cough*- is to clear preppy’s name.

I love preppy.

I love argyle, polos, oxford shirts, ballet flats, headbands, pearls, sparkle, and Audrey Hepburn.

I hate preppy’s reputation.

What the hell?

We’re not all popular (thats for sure).

We’re not all backstabbers (duh).

We’re not all wearing Abercrombie and Hollister 24/7 (OBVIOUSLY). Because for the 14 billionth time.. THAT IS NOT NECESSARILY PREPPY.

As for the first two comments, I know Gossip Girl may be to blame. And I would kiss the ground Blair Waldorph walks on, be a minion, whatever it took, before I’d bash the show.. but I’m sick of the reputation it has given us preps! I’m clearing preppy’s name, after all God knows, it needs it.

Oh, and as for the last comment? Oh my God. You pay more at JCrew for a crisp white beautiful button down and a pink and green skirt from Lilly Pulitzer (which I would clearly match with Navy Ralph Lauren Knee Socks and White High Healed Loafers from Coach) for a CLASSIC GORGEOUS outfit than at Hollister you EVER will. Don’t compare my prized possessions, my babies, MY CLOTHES to the Indonesian craftsmanship of that seagull baring label. I’m not a label whore, but I’m sick of the comparison.

To end this blog, I’d like to ask a question.

Would a poster that says

Be too forward to put on my wall in my college dorm? I better not get stuck with a jock for a roomate.. not to sound judgemental :*

11:11 MAKE A WISH.

I wish I knew where I was going to college. Ugh. I should probably figure that out BEFORE I figure out what I’m going to hang on my walls.

I searched the top 10 preppiest colleges in the United States. My mom says that isn’t good criteria to base my decisions on.

In honor of the Gossip Girl mention in this article:

XoXo,

Allison