I withdrew from FIT.


I may be the most indecisive person that’s ever existed.

Dramatic? 

I guess I could be described as that too..

So dolls, I changed my mind.  I withdrew from FIT.

what

Last minute?  Yeah.

But at least I made this executive decision before winding up in NYC.

I decided that I don’t want to major in Fashion Merchandising.  I don’t like math.  I’m not the absolute greatest at it either.

I found out I wasn’t going to graduate in 2 years, it was going to cost almost the same as Canisius ($$$$) and that these days, I wear (monogrammed) t shirts with gym shorts one day and a sun dress the next.

 I like that kind of flexibility without pressure.

I want to enjoy fashion, not ruin it by going to the fashion capital.

Some other things to note: I live in the anti-NYC, I’m 18, and I don’t want to leave yet.  I never liked Manhattan.  Why change that opinion to try and go to the best school for a major I don’t even want?

It might be what I’m “supposed” to do.  It might not.

And I don’t honestly care what anybody thinks about this -except for me.

nobody

So, now I’m back to a similar spot I was in January.. thanks to my indecisiveness.

And I’m semi-okay with it.

I am going to end up at Buffalo State College studying Journalism or University at Buffalo studying English with a Journalism certificate and a minor in education.

Maybe.

I don’t know.  Both schools have rolling admissions.

I just know I’m going to continue onto a Bachelor’s.

And either way I won’t have to live at home!

disp

Sorry mom, nothing against you.. I just want independence and cute clothes.

My beloved readers if you don’t realize it by now..

My life isn’t predictable. Or boring.

Stay tuned.

Patience and Faith


Patience is not a virtue I possess.  

I’ve known this for a long time, but with college acceptances and internship verdicts there is no exception.  It has been 41 days since my Coach internship interviews.  More than 41 days since I tweaked my resume and stressed over which outfit to wear.  It has been 18 days since I was supposed to notified.  I’m obviously handling that very well…

So I’ve e-mailed, tweeted, and complained through whatever means necessary to try and get some answers.  I finally resorted to THE PHONE CALL today.  

“Hello this is Allison Deutschman, I was a candidate for the Coach internships back in March.  I was just calling to find out when candidates would be contacted or if you would be contacted even if you were declined the opportunity?”

“Hi Allison, the candidates will be contacted tomorrow.”

“Okay. Thank you!”

“You’re Welcome.”

“Good Bye.”

I know I rambled, I tried to get straight to the point.. but hey at least I know tomorrow is the day.

Tomorrow I will have the verdict on how I will be spending my 78 days of my summer.  On the couch watching netflix 24/7… or in the city where dreams are made (with a side of netflix).

I have finally decided how I am spending my fall, winter, and spring for the next 2 years: at FIT.  The deposit is in, the decision is final.  I am going to be completing my Bachelor’s Degree in Fashion Merchandising at the United States’ best Fashion school. 

Muy Bueno.

I’m pretty excited about this.  I’m also scared about of my mind, but I am really really pumped.

This upcoming fall semester will be so different from my last one.  I’m already talking to some girls about getting an apartment.   I choke about every time I hear about housing expenses, but hey you can’t have it all.

I’m in a really good mood today.  I think it is because the weather is feeling pretty Floridian, it’s reached the low 70s and although there are still pine trees instead of palm trees in my front yard I will take it.  

I wish I had a cute beach hat.. I love the ones I found on my new favorite site: http://www.marleylilly.com.  I wish cute beach hats were socially acceptable about the Mason Dixon line.

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Speaking of cute hats, I went to an estate sale last week and saw these lovely big hats in lovely hat boxes from at least 20 years ago.  They were very dressy and totally not the norm, but I drooled and debated.  I ended up buying a Coach purse (surprise surprise) and fur trimmed coat (I FEEL LIKE I BELONG IN OLD HOLLYWOOD) instead, thinking I would come back for the hat if it was still there the next day.

But the whole house was gone the next day.

That mansion burned to a crisp, along with the hat and little old man with Alzheimers inside of it. Talk about goose bump causing.

This week has certainly had some nationwide disasters. Between Boston and Texas, I’m scared to know what could happen next.

I didn’t go to church this past Sunday and I need to go this Sunday because just in case one of these disasters involves me.. I need God to know I love him.

My faith has been wavering a little bit lately.  I’m not a huge fan of this church that my parents go to and I never was a fan of the church before that.  I know that the world is just testing me, but in such a scary place I need to have faith.

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Back to reality, where 42 degrees is considered a heat wave.


I’m baaaaaaack!  Preps, I just had the most fantastic vacation of my life.  There were some unexpected roadblocks like a thunderstorm and no wifi, but they helped me to appreciate sunny days and internet connection when I had them.  From Monday until Friday I was in paradise.  I got to experience 5 days that were typical of a millionaire/ess at their vacation home outside Panama City.  The ocean views and ritzy boutiques surrounding me took my breath away.  I fell into the life of the rich and famous easily, but there were reminders that I didn’t live there of course.  Knowing I would have to come back was a fact I tried to avoid.  Printing boarding passes and living out of my suitcase made it impossible though.

There were similarities between this trip and my spring break in Savannah, GA last year, but so much has changed.  I was coming from a different place this year, both literally and figuratively.  Even the beaches were different: Savannah was very shelly and rough, with blue water, while Seacrest sand me of sugar with bright green splashing on the shores.  This time I was moving into a family friend’s permanent home for a few days, last time I was with my aunt’s where we rented a townhouse.  It was just incredible to think that Ashley gets to live that care-free lifestyle daily.  I enjoyed both trips, but the difference was leaving this time: I knew I would be back.

I have come to conclusion I now have a goal for the next two years.  I may not know what I am doing tomorrow, but in two years I will live on the gulf of Mexico in Florida.  I will wake up only moments from the beach and like Ashley kept telling me: it will be impossible to feel upset.  “I can’t be angry.” she would say  “I have 4 palm trees in my front yard.”  Do you know how cool that is?  I don’t get that sense of peace from 50 pine trees or a block of cement sky scrapers.  I felt so calm and alive.  I felt like I was supposed to be there, and that’s why it was so hard to leave.

Like my bag of shells, my heart just shattered when it was time to go.

I can’t just pick up my life and go there though.  I am not a millionaire and that would not be my second house.  I have to work so hard to just afford rent there and all I would qualify for right now is a floor level retail position -not enough to live on.  I feel like the best chance I have of getting there is paying my dues and going to FIT for 2 years.  I was accepted last week into the Advertising Marketing Communications program there and after talking to my admissions counselor, I was switched into Fashion Merchandising.

seacrest

Theres really no reason why I should refuse the offer to go.  FIT is recognized world wide, and the opportunity is incredible.  I can’t blame money, because it’s a state school and I get instate tuition.  I can’t say it’s not good enough, because there isn’t better.  I need to take the risk, and I need to go, because I know how many doors it can open.

I can go to Florida after I am certified, if I feel the same strong pull to be there.  Until then, I’ll visit as frequently as I can and conquer Manhattan.  After all like the Frank Sinatra song New York New York:

If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere.

I’ll grow until then so that Florida is not only ready for me, but I am ready for it.  In 2 years I will be able to sit at a high end restaurant with a glass of wine both legally and affordably.  I will have lived on my own and faced the benefits and trade offs.  I will have earned Florida and Florida will have earned me.  I feel like I will be more respected and successful, because I will have more experience.  It seems that this vacation and the people I met helped me to see that if I expect to ever have this for more than 5 days then I need to go to school.

Realizing where I want to be in two years may not seem like a huge deal to some of my readers, but I lost motivation and determination when I couldn’t figure out what I wanted any more.  In just the past year of posts I can see all of these different places I thought I wanted to be or all the routes I was okay with taking.  I stayed pretty much in my comfort zone consistently  because I assumed that’s how I would get the results I desired… but so far I haven’t.  Therefore I think it’s time to take a risk.

Going to Florida this year, would be an easy decision to make.  Saying that I would just enroll in Business Administration at Florida State University -Panama City would be the simple way of getting what I think I want.. but I compromised my major once before when I thought I knew what I wanted and then I had to make one painful decision to turn it all around.  Instead, this time I’m going to get it all and it’s just going to take some time to get there.

fsu

 

At this point, I believe I will be in my first day of classes at FIT on August 26th.  I will have been stressing out the night before about what to wear, instead of stressing out about what I’m doing with my life.  I will be taking my days one and a time, because instead of just jumping ideas constantly: I now have a goal.

No decision I ever make tends to be easy.  I learned that a while ago.  I really like this one though, even if it scares me shitless.  This decision reinforces why I needed to leave Canisius.  Talking to my admissions counselor at FIT, she told me if I hadn’t left I would be entering the Associate’s Degree program.  By going to FIT, I know I made the right choice.

Until I end up in Manhattan in August, I’ll be sleeping in a bunk bed in my parents house and working at the outlet mall, like I am right now: doing what an 18 year old is supposed to do.  I don’t love the fact that it’s 42 degrees outside and considered a heat wave because this is upstate New York, but I can deal with it for a few more years in order to see shorts in February later on.

I’m still waiting to hear from Coach about the summer internship, but where I end up with for the summer doesn’t really impact where I’ll be in 2 years.  So whatever happens, is supposed to.

Allison

Ps:  Did you know Nina Garcia, Calvin Klein, Michael Kors, and Nannette Lapore went to FIT?