Having brains doesn’t get you anywhere: being gay, a minority, poor, having divorced parents, or a trust fund does.

This is going to be a touchy blog post.  I won’t have written it properly if it doesn’t push some buttons.

If you are going to be offended by anything in the title, I suggest you stop reading.  Go ahead, accuse me of discrimination based on sexual orientation, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or home life.  I’m not discriminating  I’m letting you know that your rights are protected at the cost of mine.

I’m a victim of discrimination based on none of the above.

Here in America, we protect every living breathing stereotype (not breathing? we protect your right to be a vegetable too).  You constantly see the media referencing people being bullied because they are different [ don’t agree or promote bullying, I think it’s good that we take drastic measures to stop it].  When applying for a job, there is an Equal Opportunity Clause to protect you.  When applying to a college, unless it is gender specific, the same rules apply.

But what about the people that were “blessed” with a situation that doesn’t put them in a protected category?

I am straight.  I am white.  I am middle class.  I have married parents. I am a dying breed.

And the same way some minorities claim that when you look at them, all you are seeing is their race: I am here to say that I am sick and tired of you looking at me and only seeing the above facts about me.  

I have a 3.92 GPA.  I work 25 hours a week.  I take 23 credits total at 2 separate colleges.  I work my ass off.

I’m not claiming that there are gay people, minorities, poor people, divorced people, or people with money that aren’t working just as hard.  I am claiming that people with those “conditions” and work ethic are being given an advantage for the wrong reasons.

There is a list of minorities, gay people, and poor people that get employed and into jobs first.  There are spots open to them, that the white straight middle class married parent people like myself can’t touch.

I was accepted to LIM college today in Manhattan, and along with my YOU’RE IN folder was a big ole fuck you for being white, straight, middle class, and having married parents.  I got into the school, like LIM said, but that $3,000 scholarship on a $56,000 school certainly is not going to cut it.

And if I were black, gay, poor, and had divorced parents this wouldn’t be an issue.

I don’t think it’s fair, that I am practically over qualified to attend this school, yet won’t get the chance.  The acceptance rate at LIM is 73% according to College Board.  Also according to College Board, I am in the top 11% of applicants.

According to those statistics I should not have an issue going LIM.  But what people don’t realize is I am not just a statistic. I am a person.  I worked hard and I am infuriated.

I went through high school under the impression that hard work gets you places, so working hard is what I did.  I remember people joking saying “Well, nerds will be your boss some day” and that was motivation.  But those chances of being somebody’s boss significantly decrease when you find out that you can’t go to college.

In America, we claim that we are trying to give everyone regardless of race, sexual orientation, marital, or socioeconomic status a chance to succeed.  As time has progressed, success has entailed college, but college isn’t for the white straight middle class married people anymore.

We’ve become the enemy.  We can’t claim that we didn’t get in though.  That’s their trick.  I got in.

I just can’t afford to go.

Gabbing about GPAs, Grades, and Gossip Girl.

Hello dolls,

I had a little spare time today and decided that I needed to revamp the site.  It felt a little neglected lately with all of the college work taking precedent.  That’s the way it had to be though, and I have an additional reason to think that way:

3.88 is my GPA for my first semester at a private 4 year school.

It paid off.

My rants about trying so hard, and trying soooo much to prove I could do it, they weren’t for nothing.  I made Deans list and although I’ll be completely honest there is a little part of me that’s annoyed it’s not a 4.0, I’m satisfied.

A 3.88 is really something to be proud of. 3 A’s in Finite Mathematics (my best subject?! remember math was the reason I dropped Fashion Merchandising!!?), Disease: Myth & Reality (I thought that Science final was the death of me, and yet I still must have pulled out a 94 after an all nighter to get an A), and Women in American History 1880s to Present.  I got A-‘s in Interpersonal Communication, which should have been an A because it was a 94 and she only counts 96-100 as A unlike every other teacher in the world… and an A- in FYS.  Which I have no explanation for.

BUT.  What this means is I have new motivation for next semester.  I have to either A) Get a 4.0 next semester or B) Pick up a 6th class and maintain a 3.88 again.  2 of the classes I took this past semester were sophomore and junior level, I think I could take on an additional class.

The question is: Will I maintain sanity?

And followed by that question is:

Will my roommate remain sanity?  I have to try not to rant to her as much when I feel like I am going to bubble over.  She would probably appreciate that too.

So, yes I am going back to school next semester.  I had a mental breakdown/momentary mind lapse in my last post.  I have come to the conclusion in between episodes of Gossip Girl and Lipstick Jungle (a lot of mental stimulation I know) that what I strive to be needs a college degree.

My dad keeps saying there are multiple ways to skin a cat, which is true.. but guess what?  I want the least risky most successful skinned cat possible.

That sounds gross. Sorry.

I’m living on wheat thins, oatmeal, and clementines.. my mind is a little fogged.  I slept until 12:30 and didn’t feel a whole lot of motivation to get ready for the day so I am still in my pajamas.  I felt sick -and still do- when I woke up this morning, but once I got into the cyberworld I was much more overwhelmed with ambition.

I stayed up for a while last night on this girl’s blog about going to London College of Fashion last year.  She is now in Las Vegas as a shoe buyer for Zappos and 6pm.com.  I really thought she was inspirational and she blew my blog away easily.  I watched her videos and laughed when she laughed, cried when she cried, and because I would someday like to have the success that she does, I am not providing her URL and losing readers haha :). You’re just gonna have to subscribe and wait around to see how successful I am!

Along with turning over a new leaf on my blog -by decorating it and adding new links- I decided I wanted to change some things about my life beyond cyberspace too.  My mom helped me “permantalize” (my own made up word for permanently organize) my room and clothes that I brought back from school.  I was never able to get settled in at home because I moved into college the day before school started.  My sister and I share the room and slowly I saw Audrey Hepburn posters come down, and puppy posters go up… But since my family is stuck with me for a month that is obviously not going to fly.

I quickly took over at least half of the room and paraded around the room in my heels.  Not gonna lie, my calluses on my heels have softened and I have missed my babies SO MUCH.  Canisius College is not the scene for these stilletos, but neither was Mohawk High School.  I am contemplating bringing back a few pairs with me..

It is always an overwhelmingly good feeling when I retry on clothes and shoes.  I rediscover clothing that has been MIA for some time and make up new outfits in my head.  The nice part about shoes and accessories is that it doesn’t matter how much the infamous Freshman 15 has tried to ruin my life, I can still strut around with them.  And of course they love me back.

Along with these new outfits comes new hair.  Just like back in March when I had this impulsive need to change my life, hair, etc. and ruined it I am going to again.  Well, hopefully not ruin it..

I’m not going Blonde again, don’t worry.  I’ve learned my lesson and hopefully will never have to relearn it.  I am feeling like red instead. Red or just dark brown like I already have, but to get rid of the wisps of dead light brown and blonde that remain from losing the coloring from before.

Nobody in Youngstown knows me though, so until January 13th when I go back to college I have to be completely honest and say I could go bald and it wouldn’t matter all that much.  This is a good and a bad thing, because I miss my friends from school way more than they probably miss me haha and at the same time I can afford as many of these pajama sick days as I want.  It is easy to recover from an overwhelming finals week when you can lie around and prioritize your cyber life more than your actual one.

I’ve gone ice skating, shopping (a lot), and to the grocery store, but that’s about the extent of it.  My 3 year old Owen is great company, but I can only be beat by him at Mario Kart so many times before I go insane.  I have finished the Gossip Girl series and become emotionally invested in similar TV shows that I missed out on due ridiculous amounts of work, but nothing could hurt me as much as the heart break of Dan being GG.  How did you feel about him?  Or the final episode?  I watched it online because in the new house we don’t have CW and I clearly could not watch it with my younger siblings in the living room downstairs.  The quality wasn’t very good, but regardless I think I got the feel for how awful the episode was.  It just was reinforced by the crappy static and blurriness.

I do have one really important question regarding the show: What were the producers thinking eliminating Ed Westwick’s accent during Gossip Girl?

I don’t know how he did it, or more importantly why.. but the first hour of the gossip girl finale was a documentary style flashback thing involving the actors and directors.  Ed Westwick aka Chuck talked and my heart melted more than normal, along with most of the female population in America I’m sure.


The only thing I can think of is that it would be very difficult for the viewers to hate Chuck when he was terrible in the first few seasons if he had a voice like that (;